Saturday, June 26, 2010

Summer time and the living is... easy?

I'm sixteen days into summer and I feel no sense of freedom or elation, all I feel is I'm wasting away. Do you ever find yourself regretting something suddenly or not so much regretting, but wishing it had gone a different way? Lately, I've been feeling that. There's a person in my life who I used to love, and who I think. . . used to love me, It's been a long time since we've seen each other, but once upon a time we were together and I was happy, very, very happy and when we broke up it didn't hurt me because I wasn't in my right mind at the time. Now, I'm with someone else and they make me very happy, but sometimes I wish I had fought for what could have been. Sometimes I still miss them even though it's been years, sometimes I still think of what it was like to kiss them, and the fun we had together. But now it's too late and sometimes, I still want them, and sometimes I wonder do they ever think about me?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Who are my real friends anyway?

Lately, I have been doubting myself alot. My best friend of five years had a baby and disappeared. Later, I got a message from her mom saying her boyfriend and his family weren't let anyone speak to anyone and I went off on him. Later she wrote me back and told me she hated me and she wished I died. That hurt me badly. She was supposed to be my best friend!!!! Then a few days later my friends got back from Florida. Travis (My boyfriend) and I went to pick them up then my friend Abby decides she just not going to go and didn't talk to us or anything so we left, then later her boyfriend tells us she going shopping with her mom. I was like 'what the fuck? you don't feel well enough to chill with your friends but you can go shopping?' With friends like this how am I supposed to feel. I feel like I have no real friends anymore. I miss my Connecticut friends but they probably don't care about me any more. I've been gone for 2 years. I feel hopeless, I NEED a friend.